A few years ago a family member died unexpectedly after childbirth. Her passing completely wrecked her family and they still have not recovered from her loss. And recently I learned of the recent passing of another mother who died immediately after childbirth. She was a community activist and focused her efforts on maternal health issues. As a maternal health and reproductive justice advocate news of these women’s and any other woman’s passing is always a gut punch. Childbirth is supposed to be a joyous time, but when mothers pass away simply by giving birth it seems nonsensical and cruel.

I have two daughters who are childbearing age and I worry all of the time about what their childbirth experiences will be. I have already determined I will become a doula if only to be more knowledgeable when my daughters eventually have children. I will also impart to them that they can be selective about their caregiver and not be afraid to ask questions. They must be their own advocate, but I will be there to help them as well.